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I celebrated a major milestone birthday recently with an escape to the wilderness, thinking I would avoid attention and commune with nature in its purity. This was fine and I spent the momentous occasion trekking through 30 centimetre deep snow around beautiful Dove Lake at Cradle Mountain in Tasmania. This area is actually listed as a world heritage place.
Since then I have been prodded and probed, scanned and screened to finally get a clean bill of health. I have new spectacles; have had a massage and facial, haircut and general tidy-up. I have a new job; have planned a new house for a new block of land in a new location. I have a new job and start work next week. I have sorted and packed up my house, thrown out the old stuff, and I leave my old life behind this weekend and start the next chapter of my life afresh. I have finally adjusted to being an “empty-nester” and proud that my three adult children are happy, independent, and confident living their own wonderful lives. Fortunately for me, the only thing I haven’t changed is my husband! And my family of course.
Fully realising that you take your Self with you wherever you go, I have worked on my psyche long and hard over the years and I am confident and happy with my place in the world and this life. But I try never to be ungrateful, complacent, nor take things for granted. Life continues to unfold in its mystery.
To my great delight I am still going to be working in libraries so this is not new, but the branches and people I meet will be. It is such a privilege to work in libraries.
I will endeavour to keep up this blog and my two other blogs: French Accent and Port Fairy House as I make the transition into this new landscape. Goodbye beautiful Mornington Peninsula.
You can change your life. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? But it is not as easy as it sounds. Here are some essential ingredients that you will need:
Be willing. You might think you are willing. You might say you are willing. But do you feel willing? Really feel willing to make the changes necessary?
Be persistent. You may experience setbacks in your attempts to change your life, but you will need to persist with your attempts and not let rejection, disapproval of others, or failure to stop you. You need to keep trying time and time again.
Know yourself. Is this the change that is right for you, or is it something you are chasing because it is seen as something desirable by others? Know yourself well enough to know that this is truly right for you.
Realise reality. Know what the reality of this life change will bring. Visualise this new life. The reality of what you desire may not live up to the imagined life at all. Think it through carefully.
Make sacrifices. Know that you will be sacrificing some things with this change. Life will not be what it was. Some things will leave your life forever.
You have choice. Know that you are free to choose the life you want, but so are others and they may not make the life choices that are compatible with yours. You can only change your own life.
Be brave. It is scary. Once the changes are set in motion you may get nervous and you will need to have courage to keep going. It is too easy to give up and return to old habits and to what is known and comfortable. Don’t mistake this discomfort with unwillingness.
You will always have you. You will take your Self with you. Remember that. You can’t escape yourself. But a new environment amongst a different group of people may affect your behaviour; hopefully for the better.
Uproot. Leaving your old life will feel like uprooting and it is. All that is known to you will be left behind.
Life will never look the same. Once you are on the road to your new life, the whole view of the world will change for you. It is as if the dust has been shaken off everything you see around you and you see the world with fresh eyes; like the eyes of a child; like this old familiar life and scenery is something new.
You will know it when it happens. You will know it when you have crossed the threshold into your new life. You will feel it deep within and you will know that there is no way back, even if you wanted to go back. You can’t. It is in the past. It was your former life. You have grown beyond that former life.
Photo by Ryan James Bentley 2009
Sunday with no plans so I went for a walk. I knew there would be cyclists on the main road taking part in the annual Around The Bay In A Day event. I had gone for my ride yesterday avoiding the crowds. 15,500 cyclists wearing colourful lycra pedalled their bikes in both directions looping 250 kilometres around Port Phillip Bay.
At Anthony’s Nose three large men in bulging lycra asked in their English accents if I would take their photo. With the silvery bay clad in morning light as a backdrop and the tall buildings of Melbourne peeking above the horizon as small black pegs (their destination) I took the picture of these jovial men. They told me they were from Sydney and came down each year especially for this event. Finding time to stop at a cafe for breakfast was a priority they said. I wish I had my phone with me so I could have taken a photo of them for myself.
Later in the day I drove to Mornington to see and hear a friend sing as part of the Two Bays Choir. The Annual Mornington Food and Wine Expo was in full swing when I arrived. The main street was closed to vehicles and instead filled with tent stalls where local wineries offered samples of their wine, and all sorts of food was being made and sold. A rock band played loudly at one end of the street and another at the other end. It was difficult to find my way through the crowds of people, children, dogs, and stalls. The cafes, restaurants and hotels were open for business and diners were eating and drinking, spilling out onto the footpaths.
Eventually finding the stage where the choir performed I sat and enjoyed their efforts despite the competing sounds from the rock bands and crowds of exuberant people. As I was about to leave a group of 14 people gathered and sat in a circle with bongo drums. A joyous rhythm of drumming began and a crowd gathered to lap up their sound and spirit.
I drove home along the beach road as the sun made its way to the western horizon. Boats were still out on the golden bay and people were fishing, skiing, or just motoring around. A barbeque dinner at home with family finished off a great day. Springtime in Melbourne heralds the arrival of longer days of sunshine and everyone gets out enjoying themselves in this glorious weather.
Strange how life seems to take us two steps forwards then one step backwards. Why is this? I try to be philosophical and positive. Is it just life? Is it life lessons, challenges, and tests we must face in order to grow, understand, and become wise and enlightened?
I have made positive decisions and steps forward with my career choices. I was happy with my progress. I had bravely stepped out of my comfort zone, stepped into new environments, joined new teams, stepped-up in terms of delivery of information services, and learnt many new systems and work flows.
All was great. My service to all customers was outstanding I believe. So what happened? I was recommended. Now I find myself back where I was before. I am back in a school library, minding the desk, supervising teenagers, and trying not to get bored and fill my day somehow. I am not a teacher so my usefulness in this situation is limited. I long for the satisfaction of meeting the numerous questions posed by a demanding public in a busy community library. I want to get back to helping committed adult students in a diverse tertiary organisation. I was there and now I’m not again!
This step “backwards” or “sideward” is temporary and I hope I don’t lose the ground I had covered and was enjoying. Yawn….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Huh?! Was that a bell?
In my quest to understand life’s little lessons, I read self-help books and go online to research. I read blogs from people who write about inspiration, creativity, freedom, and self-actualization. Zen Habits, Marianne Williamson’s Journal, Unshelved, Someday Syndrome, Creative Liberty, The Happiness Project, and many blogs by people who love France.
The lines can blur when categorising literature into fiction or non-fiction. There are many books in the ‘non-fiction’ section that are questionable in terms of truth and validity. I am currently reading about the Teachings of Abraham in a book by Esther and Jerry Hicks. The practical advice for living offered in the book was apparently communicated to Esther by entities not residing in this physical world.
This week I saw the movie “The curious case of Benjamin Button” starring Brad Pitt as Benjamin. It is so satisfying to go to the cinema and be treated to a fulfilling movie experience, and this movie provided that. It was so uplifting despite the topic primarily being about death. It is an improbable tale about a man who is born old and lives his life backwards, and yet it is convincingly portrayed and beautifully crafted. The make-up artists certainly had a challenge making this movie, and did it so well.
Brad Pitt was brilliant as the quirky and challenged character of Benjamin. He was also typically gorgeous during the prime years of Benjamin’s life. I swooned as Benjamin (Brad) took off on his motorbike and again when he set sail in his yacht!
This story of fiction, apparently originally an unpublished story by F. Scott Fitzgerald and made into this film by David Fincher, is an improbable work of fiction, and yet again the philosophical advice for living is clear.
Life can sometimes be stranger than fiction. Public libraries are havens for everyone everywhere and so you will see a broad cross-section of society there on any given day, seeking a diverse range of information. There are even ‘wizards’ who visit. This is a fact, although perhaps by name only and not nature – not proven anyway.
Holidaymakers being fined $113 for parking their cars in a loading zone, outside the library when the car parks are choking; now that’s a fact.
Standing on the wet sand by the waters edge I talked to a friend about art. We soaked up the warmth of the perfect autumn day. Suddenly a dolphin appeared about 50 metres away. We paused to watch as its arched silhouette gradually disappeared into the golden dazzle. I’ve seen dolphins here before so it is not uncommon. Yet it always provides a spontaneous Zen moment. Who would want a Second Life when an excellent first life is there to be lived? Seeing a dolphin provides a Zen moment far superior than any Mindful Chime on Twitter.
The very next day gale force winds whipped the sea so ferociously that boats were wrecked; a dust storm choked the sky; power outages spread across the State; trees fell; traffic was gridlocked; and some people died.
The library without power was like a tomb. No power, no PC’s, no lifeblood of a modern day library. It was too dark to venture into the shelves, especially around 363.7 and 551.5. At least we could shelter as the wind raged outside.
Watch Sort of Dunno Nuthin’ by Peter Denahy to see how passionate one typical aussie teenager is about life.
